REDRUM

In my recent abundance of spare time, I have been reading The Shining. It is definitely one of the best books I’ve ever read, and would highly recommend it if you are looking for a page turner.

Stephen King’s writing is not what I expected at all, and I find myself reading chapter after chapter effortlessly. Other than the book recommendation for any avid readers, I have strangely been finding similarities in the book and my current situation, and wanted to write a few down… Bare with me, I do not envisage myself chasing the staff around the ward with an axe shouting ‘HERE’S JOHNNY’… I merely want a link to what’s been happening in the last week or so.

Last Friday (27th Nov) I had another round of Chemotherapy. As I mentioned in a previous post, one of the drugs is bright red. Coincidentally, the first time the famous REDRUM statement appeared in the book was whilst this red drug was being administered, and so I now refer to this drug as REDRUM, sadly not like RUM in anyway!! I won’t elaborate further on the reference of this word in the book as I don’t want to give anything away, so you must go read it! With regard to the actual Chemotherapy, so far I have been extremely fortunate with side effects, having only a mild headache once and redness on my face and chest some days. I am sure this won’t always be the case, so I shall revel in it for now.

On Friday afternoon I also had a consultation with the wig specialists. This was an interesting experience. I am happy to report I still have my hair, I am yet to notice any difference on that front, though it is early days still. The hair loss stuff hasn’t really been something I worry or stress over, but I can appreciate for some it may be a lot harder to deal with. After trying a few wigs on, I was pretty sure on the verdict…I did not want a wig! It felt very alien and too heavy on my little head, oh and did I mention they all looked ridiculous! Another reference to The Shining (movie), I totally looked like Jack Nicholson in one of the wigs, a crazed lunatic.

Over the weekend I had more visits from my wonderful friends, was lovely to see them all, AND the girls brought me a Nandos, it was the best meal of 2015! Monday was Mum’s birthday, and she was lucky enough to spend it with me in hospital!! We had lunch in the cafeteria, it was a very memorable meal, and probably her best birthday yet ;-), would you agree Mum?

My next treatment was scheduled for today (3rd Dec), when I had my intrathecal Chemotherapy (lumbar puncture). The procedure was absolutely fine, the local anaesthetic felt a little scratchy but I didn’t feel anything other than a little pressure at the start. They take some spinal fluid to perform tests on, and also insert Chemotherapy directly into the spine. It took around 15 minutes and then I was back to my room. Headaches are a common side effect, and so you are advised to lie flat for 30 mins – 1hr after and drink plenty of fluids. I have a bit of a headache and my lower back is a little achey, but nothing an evening visit from Deb, Fern, and Ella (with a Dominos pizza in hand) couldn’t fix!! Thank you for joining me in the quest for more naughty food!

This week I have started to feel a little more tired and sluggish, and have started to get annoyed when my body doesn’t quite feel ‘normal’. In the first two weeks everything had happened so quickly that my body probably didn’t realise what was going on. I am starting to notice the combined affect of all the drugs, lack of exercise, and overeating on the steroids. I feel like I have a lot more cushioning shall we say (that’ll be the bacon rolls), and can feel my body getting tired/achey from not moving about as much. It isn’t a nice feeling. In The Shining, the main character Jack, is significantly influenced by some strange happenings at the Overlook Hotel (albeit I am not being possessed by a hotel, but I can definitely relate). I feel like I have lost control of my body and someone else is in the driving seat. I can’t fully explain how strange it feels to be lying on a bed and feel your heart racing around 100 bpm. I am doing my best to try not to stress over it, as that will probably just make it worse, and really my heart is just doing what it needs to do at the minute.

Tomorrow I have another lot of Chemotherapy and then again on Monday, so thinking I may be a little tired next week. For now I am going to read a few more chapters of the book before bed, I think I’ll be finished tomorrow.

“Keep Shining”